Blog 011: Where I Get My First Commission Pay

10:00am, IST.

Goooooood Mooorning!

Well, it is a pretty good morning. Time to start a new drawing today. It’s for another friend who is also close one. So let’s get this day going.

12:30pm, IST.

There’s a little hiccup with my drawing.

So, as you know I did a sketch for my best friend just now which turned out amazing.. but surprisingly.. today.. she offered to pay me for it. •.•

I swear I decided to give her the drawing for free. She is my best friend and I don’t want her to pay me, but knowing her, she will somehow find a way to pay me.. or kill me if I didn’t listen to her. So I said, she can pay if she wants to or not. It’s her choice.

Now, since she won’t change her decision, I will have to ask everyone else to pay me for their drawings. That is because, if I take money from my best friend, even if she pays me forcefully, I can’t make a drawing for free for someone else. That would be totally wrong and I would have the feeling that I betrayed my best friend.

So, since I decided to ask for everyone else to pay, I ask this close friend, whose drawing I was gonna do, to pay me something this month in return for the drawing. As it turns out, she isn’t saving enough money to buy a drawing of herself. So.. she backed out.

Not only the drawing is incomplete, I have to now ask other people in queue for payment and wait for their responses, before I can select who to draw next. Huh.

Sometimes, you just got to do what you got to do.

3:00pm, IST.

Still no response from the other person in queue for the drawing, so I have no work. I do have other work but don’t want to do it right now. Also my parents are going to attend another wedding today, so I’ll again be with myself and my thoughts alone.

5:00pm, IST.

Since, I want to start a YouTube channel I need to practice talking, and since I’m not that great with talking(I really suck), and that too in English(more suck).. I’m finding it really difficult than I thought it would be.

So for the past 2 hours I have just been practicing my intro.. which is of just 2 lines.

‘Hi, my name is Nadeem Abdulla. This is my first YouTube video.. technically not my first but the first time recording myself speaking in front of a camera..’

That’s it. And I couldn’t do it. I mean I could but the fluency and normal speaking, it’s absolutely not there. I should just stick to not talking. Anyways, I’ll try again later and this time actually record myself speak.

To whoever reading this.. should I upload it on YT just like that? Should I just do it?

11:00pm, IST.

Two.. big.. things.. happened..

The less important one first. I actually drew something on my own! Yes, I drew something without copying and with my creativity and imagination. It’s basically a woman’s face but in a more pencil watercolor style. I’ll upload the pic tomorrow on IG, but the important thing is.. I actually did something today and not let the day go to waste! Yay! Even though it was a simple drawing, it took 4 hours to make.. but I did it!

Now for the most important thing. My friend actually paid me..

I knew she would pay me, but it’s a little unbelievable that I’ll get paid for a drawing. Never did I thing in my life that I would be paid for a drawing. I always thought I will be paid for websites, computer work etc, but drawing.. wow.

I am so happy right now, really.. words cannot depict my emotions. Or probably I don’t know how to do it..

But I am happy..I really am.

She didn’t pay me full, but she paid half and she promised to pay the other half next month. I don’t think I’m gonna take the other half. I’m happy that she was the only one who asked and paid on her own, without me telling her to do it. Well, she is the only one who knows my situation but still, it’s something no one else did even after asking them to pay.

I guess she earned another drawing for herself for free, and this time I know the perfect one.

12:30am, IST.

Midnight Talk: Everything Will Be Alright

These 4 words are the most powerful words that I have ever believed in my life.. but I always forget them. But then there comes a situation that reminds me of it and everything becomes alright.

The situation that reminded me, was the situation that happened today.. my best friend paying me. I had written in a previous post that I had ordered a new pair of headphones that were too costly for me and that I bought it from my parent’s money. I also wrote that I managed to pay most of it back, the rest being my mom’s gift to me, but there was a small problem where I may be charged with extra custom duty. Something I’ll have to pay extra, but I didn’t have it.

Since then, I am in a complete worry mode as to how to pay for the extra tax, when just in time, like a cute little angel, comes my best friend, offering to pay me for the drawing. I swear to God I cried a little. I never thought I’ll get the extra cash from anywhere. I was all ready to return the product when it arrived here, but then.. she paid.

Now since she paid and everything’s taken care of, I still didn’t want the headphones because they are too costly. Why did I buy them? I’ll say that in some other post.

So I tell my mom about the plan of returning it and guess what she says.. keep it. It’s your birthday gift.

I tell her I don’t want such a costly gift but she forces me to keep it when it arrives.

Now this might be a happy situation for some, but to me it’s sadness.

I didn’t initially plan on spending so much money on a headphones but a few turn of events made me buy it somehow. I do feel guilty of doing it, but I also have a reason to do it. But when my mom told me to keep it today, I felt sad. I felt sad because, she is in a situation where she is handling the house and all the financial stuffs, she is taking care of everything, including dad, and she is living in a place where there are two males and none of them earn.

It’s only me who knows what she is going through and I didn’t want to put her into more stress. Whatever I did, I didn’t do it intentionally and I hope I’ll return her the favor somehow.

So, this money that I earned today, even if it’s a small amount, it does mean a lot because it’s one step closer to a better future and also making me believe that every damn thing will be alright.

I’m going to keep on drawing, get better at it, put my hardwork as much as I could and hope that someday it’ll amount to something big. That day I would be able to give my mom the life that she deserved. I pray for that day to come soon.

Hope you a great day and always remember.. Everything will always be right.

Goodnight.

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