Blog 014: Where I Take A Break From Life

11:00am, IST.

I woke up early today and feeling much better. My nose is not stuffy and the headache is less, but still might just rest today and make sure everything is alright tomorrow.

4:00pm, IST.

I slept in the afternoon and now I’m feeling much better. It’s not the cold or headache but it’s the weakness and tiredness that I’m feeling. Hope everything is great tomorrow.

Today’s post will be short, actually very short and I’ll end it with my thoughts on my own life and why I’m feeling out-of-place.

12:00am, IST.

There’s no midnight talk today but it’ll just be me talking about my life and situation right now.

I don’t even know where to start. I know I’ll sound like I’m complaining but I’m really not. I am just assessing my life situation right now so that I can think of a way to get out of it and move forward.

So, first things first, I left my job like 8 months back and so I don’t earn. I left my job because I wanted to experience life outside rather than just sitting in one place in front of a computer screen. I wanted to do many things in a day and hence sitting in one place and doing just one job everyday.. that wasn’t for me. Everybody has their preference, this is mine.

So, no job and no money. This in itself is not a bad situation but what makes it bad is the fact that there’s so much negativity around me, that staying positive and doing something good, is just seeming impossible. The people or in fact the only person whose negative vibes is affecting everything and everyone in my house, is my dad. I won’t go into more detail but yes everyday is seeming difficult with so much negativity around.

Also, since last week I have been feeling a deep sense of bad luck inside my house. I have never had that feeling, trust me. We’ve been living in this house for more than 15 years now but it’s only this past week I have felt a strong sense of bad luck. Now, I don’t believe in all these things but I still had that feeling and anything I did in that week, didn’t turn out good. Also I got sick. It’s one of those feelings that you feel no matter how much you try to avoid it. I hope it goes away fast.

Back to my life.

I am still in a dilemma as to which path should I go down in the future. There’s drawing, which I think I am good at because that’s what everyone’s telling me. Then there’s music which I really love but currently need more time to practice and also some recording devices and mics.. which are costly. Then finally there’s photography and YouTube, which I really want to try it out. I really want to be on other side, making videos and speaking my thoughts out and recording my life as a video album. I want to do all these things and, ohh yes, writing and reading too. Wow. There’s just too many things.

I can choose right now what I want to do because I don’t have the equipments, like a camera and mic, to do other stuffs but in the near future I might, and that’s when I’ll become a juggler. I really want to stick to just one or two things in the future and spend rest of the time with family and friends, and also travel a lot if possible. But I really don’t know if anything of these things will be possible or in fact even happen at all.

I do have my hopes high and I’m pretty sure something or the other will happen, because it’s life and things always happen, but I want to take a break from it right now because I can see it jumping into a frenzy in the future. I also want to be physically and mentally ready for whatever comes my way in the future. I want to be ready for all the hardwork and everything I’m hoping to do.

So, I want to take a break from life right now, clear my head, prioritize everything, get rid of all the negativity and bad luck feelings and get my shit together. It’s not going to be easy, but it never is.

That’s all I wanted to say. As the year comes to an end, let’s leave everything behind and look at a better future, a new beginning.

This is Nad, signing off. Hope everyone has a wonderful day.



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