Blog 034: Where I Change Myself For The Better

I don’t know why I write these daily blog posts when I don’t do anything exciting everyday.

Welcome to my thirty-fourth blog rant where I will probably write about something completely irrelevant to my day and end it with a goodnight. Haha, I myself found it funny. You know what’s not funny, the lack of ability to show emotions while writing a blog but not while making a vlog. In a vlog, you can talk and talk and make facial expressions that convey the emotions, like the weird ‘haha’ I did before. In a video I would just laugh, that’s it. But it’s not that simple in a written blog. Even though theoretically I find making vlogs much easier than writing them and the majority of time making a video blog is editing them, but practically, to me, it’s much easier to write than speak to a camera. I’m not that much of a camera-shy person but talking is not my strongest point. I can have a normal conversation with someone because that goes both ways, but to speak on a topic or just rant like I do here, that’s difficult for me. But, I’m pretty sure I’ll soon be starting a YouTube channel. I do have the camera now, that’s my OnePlus 3T, all I need now is a quiet space. Soon.

Coming to my day, I’m happy that I spent most of it completing my drawing. It’s far from over and the difficult part is yet to come, but I really like the progress.

I really love how the eyes have come and they look mysterious but at the same time gentle and deep. The really frustrating part was drawing the specs. It’s not that drawing glass or spectacles is difficult, it’s the perfect roundness and also the fact that it’s frameless, having it blend with the background while also highlighting the edges, that’s difficult. It took me around 6-7 hours in a span of 3 days to get to where I am now. I know there’s still a lot of work to do but I am happy so far.

While drawing today I came up with a weird yet obvious thought. The thought is about me and my behavior. I know and I have pointed out that I do tend to complain a lot nowadays but I realized that I wasn’t this way before. Before, I used to focus on my work purely without ever thinking of what I got in return. My work was important to me, so I just kept on doing it because I liked it and it meant something to me. Also, most of the work I did, in some way or the other helped people. All-in-all, whatever work I did, I did it because I liked it and in turn helped others too. But nowadays, everything I am doing, I am thinking about returns, and mostly monetary returns.

All the drawings I do, I hope I get some commission work so that I can earn or people support me on Patreon. In fact, I have set commission charges for my friends too, which I normally don’t do. Even my other website, where I write reviews and thoughts, I always expect something in return, like more page views so that I get famous. Also, starting a YouTube channel is somewhere with the thought of getting famous. I agree I want to be famous, I even wrote a post about it. But I don’t want to turn selfish and always think about monetary returns. This is not how I was and this is not how I want to be.

I really didn’t like this thought of me changing in the bad way. I know right now I have no source of income and also have no idea from where it’ll come, but money isn’t everything and I don’t want to change because of it. So, when I had this thought I decided I should just focus on my work as much as possible and forget about the results. If success is meant to be then it’ll come when it is ready. I’ll take every opportunity I get and make the best of it. Work one day at a time and finish as much as I can. Set daily goals, finish them and then enjoy the rest of the day. That’s what I am going to do and not worry about likes or page views or any of that stuff. Do what you love and you’ll find success one day.

Also an important note.. GET A HAIRCUT!

Hahaha! It’s been probably 6 months since I had a haircut. I’m guessing more. I practically tie a pony tail and do my work. Not that I don’t like it but now it’s getting out of hand. It’s too much maintenance and my hair isn’t exactly like women’s are, all straight and good, so keeping them in good shape is damn frustrating. Every morning my hair is as if I had an electric shock. They go in every direction and also cover my face completely that I can’t see my own face in the mirror. It’s a disaster.

Anyways, I am still good looking and I like to stay that way. Hope to be better person tomorrow.

Till then, this is Nad, signing off.

Goodnight.


Please support me to help me with my artwork :)

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